Please, let me fuck your mom
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
