i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Are we still banned from the library?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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