Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
