Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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