am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
