If i come over, it means nothing
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize