Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
