we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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