Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
