my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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