I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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