R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize