so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
