Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
