I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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