where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
