The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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