My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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