How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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