She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
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Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
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You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
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