We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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