i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
