Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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