I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
