I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
