she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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