how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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