Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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