Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
