we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
