Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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