ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
