I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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