No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
