so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just googled if crying burns calories
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
ok first of all what the fuck
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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