we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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