it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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