Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
