I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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