I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
