i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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