Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
