he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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