I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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