I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
