Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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