There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
