Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
