okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
