God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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