he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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