bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
