Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
