It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
