in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
