So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
3pm strippers are depressing
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Randomize
