She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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