An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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