I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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