I want to stick my p in your. b.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
