I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Randomize