thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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