He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
