are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
