So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
