sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
