I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
