You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
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Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
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I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.