Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand

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  (913): omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand http://tfl.nu/y2lh
  Replies (10) Good night (742) Bad night (1688)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.

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  (902): perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night. http://tfl.nu/cheb
  Replies (14) Good night (3257) Bad night (661)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.

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  (561): Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like. http://tfl.nu/svkw
  Replies (42) Good night (2814) Bad night (941)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  He kissed a someone with a penis

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  (912): He kissed a someone with a penis http://tfl.nu/3ilh
  Replies (14) Good night (1177) Bad night (3323)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.

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  (617): She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her. http://tfl.nu/25nb
  Replies (123) Good night (1194) Bad night (4677)
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  (650): View more from California

  This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"

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  (650): This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case" http://tfl.nu/fgo6
  Replies (12) Good night (6636) Bad night (940)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes

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  (860): all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes http://tfl.nu/55qw
  Replies (22) Good night (2312) Bad night (4459)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?

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  (504): Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober? http://tfl.nu/e9ou
  Replies (9) Good night (1214) Bad night (3242)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.

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  (678): You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk. http://tfl.nu/2vvu
  Replies (3) Good night (965) Bad night (1355)
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  (310): View more from California

  Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul

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  (310): Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul http://tfl.nu/k128
  Replies (4) Good night (674) Bad night (587)
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  (716): View more from New York

  You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes

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  (716): You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes http://tfl.nu/q993
  Replies (3) Good night (718) Bad night (454)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night

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  (306): he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night http://tfl.nu/gymz
  Replies (0) Good night (476) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?

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  (309): They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one? http://tfl.nu/f8nv
  Replies (6) Good night (473) Bad night (380)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac

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  (443): yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac http://tfl.nu/yca7
  Replies (1) Good night (325) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way

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  (215): i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way http://tfl.nu/6bcn
  Replies (2) Good night (535) Bad night (257)

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