I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
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he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza