Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Don't you send me to vm

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  (248): Don't you send me to vm http://tfl.nu/tac7
  Replies (4) Good night (1094) Bad night (1613)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries

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  (630): it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries http://tfl.nu/1l92
  Replies (23) Good night (880) Bad night (3807)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all

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  (603): his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all http://tfl.nu/y0um
  Replies (53) Good night (749) Bad night (4672)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.

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  (316): My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch. http://tfl.nu/qemq
  Replies (15) Good night (1282) Bad night (4320)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"

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  (505): We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!" http://tfl.nu/sk68
  Replies (10) Good night (4819) Bad night (1168)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life

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  (901): i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life http://tfl.nu/drtj
  Replies (6) Good night (6342) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.

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  (604): We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it. http://tfl.nu/rgwr
  Replies (5) Good night (1660) Bad night (794)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.

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  (406): i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine. http://tfl.nu/dm6s
  Replies (22) Good night (1159) Bad night (3177)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though

  (289): View more from Ontario

  Lolll I'll be sleeping

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.

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  (905): I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though (289): Lolll I'll be sleeping (905): I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town. http://tfl.nu/s1jf
  Replies (2) Good night (2155) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  Oh God.

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  (919): DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT??? (1-919): Oh God. http://tfl.nu/z02g
  Replies (20) Good night (4745) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.

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  (563): My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch. http://tfl.nu/5mz7
  Replies (16) Good night (1104) Bad night (1616)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.

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  (919): I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned. http://tfl.nu/aln7
  Replies (4) Good night (1942) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"

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  (631): I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone" http://tfl.nu/bfbc
  Replies (5) Good night (2662) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.

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  (773): things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear. http://tfl.nu/iuyq
  Replies (3) Good night (387) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself

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  (516): Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself http://tfl.nu/vgn8
  Replies (4) Good night (521) Bad night (313)

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