Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Are you drinking alone?

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  no, i'm watching house

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  That doesn't count.

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  wtf, then i'm always alone

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  (601): Are you drinking alone? (662): no, i'm watching house (601): That doesn't count. (662): wtf, then i'm always alone http://tfl.nu/bvid
  Replies (18) Good night (1025) Bad night (1368)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving

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  (601): Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving http://tfl.nu/z8pa
  Replies (31) Good night (1006) Bad night (3339)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems

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  (505): Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems http://tfl.nu/opwd
  Replies (19) Good night (4529) Bad night (1097)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.

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  (720): When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail. http://tfl.nu/a5d0
  Replies (13) Good night (1101) Bad night (4245)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.

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  (440): i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court. http://tfl.nu/yjxx
  Replies (13) Good night (3224) Bad night (992)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.

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  (870): To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical. http://tfl.nu/vs7y
  Replies (4) Good night (2975) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.

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  (720): Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated. http://tfl.nu/fo7q
  Replies (4) Good night (1607) Bad night (736)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?

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  (708): Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him? http://tfl.nu/nbty
  Replies (9) Good night (647) Bad night (1823)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...

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  (415): also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable... http://tfl.nu/fb10
  Replies (9) Good night (693) Bad night (1523)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.

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  (402): Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right. http://tfl.nu/g2lt
  Replies (20) Good night (4803) Bad night (1072)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?

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  (508): Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit? http://tfl.nu/74kz
  Replies (7) Good night (947) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.

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  (907): Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy. http://tfl.nu/fd5d
  Replies (2) Good night (1458) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.

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  (989): We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart. http://tfl.nu/g13u
  Replies (2) Good night (646) Bad night (328)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.

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  (732): I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful. http://tfl.nu/x0ts
  Replies (4) Good night (737) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  That's what happens when you party with the tribe

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  (908): All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti (615): That's what happens when you party with the tribe http://tfl.nu/pa7a
  Replies (0) Good night (602) Bad night (296)

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