Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
