Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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