There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
