Your dad touched me again.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk is not a location!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize