I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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