nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
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Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
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Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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