We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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