So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
kristin has been a bad kristin
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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