Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
